The dynamics of a changing “home”

Ever since Grady started pre-school full time at age three this past september, the feeling of home has been different.

He gets up at 6:30am, gets his synthroid pill, eats breakfast, we get him dressed and he is on the bus by 7:20. When he arrives home at 2:30, I typically get him off the bus sleeping, like out cold sleeping, drooling all over me until I carry him into the house where he then falls asleep on the couch for another hour or two. It’s the typical routine.

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Yes the free time away from in-home therapies has had its perks…with both boys being in school full time my schedule has opened up, but that time has also made a way to find a disconnect in our communication with Grady. Since he started school in september, he has not picked up one new word or new sign. He gets home tired, sleeps for a few hours, eats dinner, tub time and then bed.  And then we do it again the next day.  We are finding what we are doing isn’t working, and we are feeling desperate to figure it out. Is it worth it to send him to school?  Are we doing something wrong?  Do we need to find a new school? Do we need to go private? The questions go on and on…

“Home” has changed with this new dynamic, we have less play time/ communicating time and more hurry up and go time.

Home is also one of the only safe places anymore to bring Grady. We have found with age, and possibly new found independence since going to school… he has achieved full blow runner status…. without a fence outside, it’s high alert to be outdoors with him.  Playgrounds need gates, and if I have June with me, I need help.  Going to birthday parties, and other events over the past year seem impossible…He’s a flight risk, and I pray that this gets better and if it doesn’t then I find balance and boundaries that are manageable.

Home remains to be where we know he can giggle, splash, play and be SAFE. Even if its for  a few short hours a day while he is awake. Home is the place where we as a family have to dig deep to find out what works for Grady and us.  Home seems to be the one true place where we feel peace.  safety. and love.

We are navigating this world and hanging on to all that is “home”.

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Hold The Phone, I am back! :)

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I had to step away.  I wrote that last post almost two years ago… and just felt a tug at my heart that it was time.  I couldn’t even touch this blog. It was years of sharing and pouring out my heart and I was done.  It was in a moment of reflection that I realized I was doing a disservice to myself by only sharing a small part of my life. It created some very odd series of events around me & some people I was associating with only seemed to understand one side of my life. (well that was my fault). The result was the relationships around me were strained & lacking substance (perhaps superficial) and the second I let some in on a little more of my life, I saw the distance creep in and relationships wore out…. I felt as if I was holding back a whole different part of my world from everyone around me.

The question is, and remains to be… how much should be shared here in order to be authentic. Because Authenticity is in my opinion vital to not only relationships but also in the ability to connect to another person whole heartily.

As my business grew over the last two years into a full time gig, and my family grew from 2 kids to 3 (that was a huge leap for me btw)… life just got WOW busy.. the thought of blogging again seemed impossible… until recently…. I realized, I missed writing. So much. I missed digging deep. My faith, while steadfast, always benefited from the process of sharing and connecting.  I quite my personal facebook three days ago (that’s a whole different post), and already the freedom from that, is allowing to write again. I am back. No promised on how often, but I am back.

thanks for those who might still be here, and for those who are to come, welcome.

I’ve stayed pretty active over on Instagram … here are a few fav’s from 2014 so far! :)

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Nestled Within. {warning : Raw Emotions}

In the midst of what has become the longest and most challenging winter of my life… we have been withholding a tiny surprise nestled within me. We are excpecting our third baby mid-August. {16+ weeks and counting}

Life got complicated around December 20th when we first figured out why I wasn’t feeling well.. the myriad of reasons might sound crazy/irrational/ungrateful but learning I was expecting was the catalyst to a very tough two months for me. emotionally.

Taking these photos today would be the first time I have actually blow dried my hair in two months. {tiny accomplishments}

Early December I remember sitting at a dinner party with my girlfriends and saying that I was pretty certain I was done birthing my babies, and while I knew we were about to begin our adoption process in just weeks… I was even more confident in that statement. I thought the shop was closed. I had birthed two of the most precious children, and patted myself for a job well done…we make adorable 46 and 47 chromosome babies.  case closed. so I thought.

The first reaction was grief & guilt, over the child we thought we be ours in 2012. The child we had prayed for and had made bold decisions for this past year. Just two days before seeing those two pink lines, I sent our official inquiry letter into RR… I struggled within my mind with guilt that I didn’t do enough to prevent pregnancy and that somehow I have failed that little guy across the sea. Dare I say, I really thought I was in control. I am grateful for the unexpected email exchange that led me to this post by a friend of mine who once struggled with the same situation:

“And then it hit me: I was irritated with God for interrupting my plans to serve Him.

I realized that I had a decision to make. I could either continue in my misery and believe the lie that this pregnancy was a mistake. OR I could choose to follow Jesus. I could believe the truth that this child was chosen by God, that his/her days were planned at the creation of the world, and that he/she is a blessing.”

So I held onto Jesus by a thread { God forgive me} and trucked through my emotions while slowly processing what was happening inside of me. My theory of the immaculate conception and baby jesus just made me sound crazy… but did leave a good chuckle right before christmas within our home. My search for the bright shining star over our house  was comical to say the least.

With the crazy morning sickness that lasted 24 hours a day… I found myself in a funk. My photographywork was slipping behind, my kids ate more mac n cheese than humanly acceptable, my husband had become my personal servant every waking hour he was home from work and a part of me was pushing through a form of depression as a FLOOD of emotions hit me.

I didn’t need a psychologist to analyze me, it was pretty clear what was happening… unknowingly I suppressed a lot of emotions when I was pregnant with Grady. I wanted to be strong for him at the time and for everyone else sharing our journey so I forged through… upon learning of this new bundle…I started processing feelings I thought were long gone in regards to pregnancy…fear, anxiety and the abrupt realization that I no longer lived in this ideal pregnancy bubble world where sparkles and excitement beam from my eyes. Don’t get my wrong,  WE would be thrilled for another child with Down Syndrome, heck that was our goal with the adoption. But the emotional turmoil of pregnancy and the unknown again well it just racks my brain and psyche. Every trip to the bathroom became a routine check for miscarriage followed by more guilt for my lack of faith.

I live in the Truth, I have seen with my own eyes… His good and perfect Gift and Plan (no matter the circumstances). I need Jesus more than ever… I don’t need a sermon… I know the Truth… it forever lives in me like a sweet song…. I just needed to marinate over this and process it in my own timing… because I am still human, flawed and emotional {dare I say hormonal, eek I hate that word}.

So we waited to share the news until our excitement had finally reached everyone’s else’s excitement for us. A few weeks ago, with my cherished friend {Grady’s delivery nurse Jodi} by my side at my ultrasound at 13.5 weeks I saw tiny feet kicking, tiny hands moving around the mouth… a beautiful long spine and tiny nose. I saw a baby.  I was pregnant. {I needed an ultrasound to confirm what we had known since christmas}

Paul was excited as always…. and Jodi, the same woman who had held my hand through Grady’s birth was the emotional support I needed to start moving out of denial. I was moving towards…

excitement.

Today at 16+ weeks we are sharing the joy of a new journey with you. Today I have hope  and as the days go on a sense of peace has come over me. This is the Plan right now… and the journey across the sea, well that’s in HIS timing…when that day comes we will be ready.

It’s time to continue on to making Grady a big brother and Mason an even bigger brother ;)

With all that being said, I have much more to blog about regarding my decision about pre-natal testing and… Boy or Girl?… and a few other pregnant ladies and hoping to be pregnant ladies in my life and some exciting milestones for Grady.

****We want to throw in our full support for Sweet Simon in effort to help him find his forever family {whoever and where ever they might be} I am committed to seeing his adoption fund grow….giving him a better chance of coming home sooner than later. He just had his second birthday would you join me with donating $5, $10 or whatever you are led to or can at this moment! You are saving him with every dollar! CLICK HERE to make a tax deductable & safe donation.***

Let us know you helped with Simon so we can thank you!

one more thing…

VOTE FOR GRADY to be in the TOP 25 on Circle of Mom’s Blog Vote! We are holding steady at 30…..It takes a second and is super easy!

2nd Birthday: Disability Scripturally Debunked

I’ve recently felt the incredible power of Scripture. I’ve been meaning to share this with you for some time now and Grady’s 2nd Birthday seems to be perfect. In all honesty it sums up everything my heart has been trying to say and plead from day one. How it took me this long to find it {or it find me} in the Big Book, God only knows.

You see… If you Trust in Him…

Scripture has the ability to heal

Scripture can save

Scripture can convict us

teach us

speak to the heart and guide us

In my most recent experience, I found Scripture also can flat out Shatter chains of bondage all the while Shredding falsified beliefs and like a feather that falls slowly to the ground..it brings us softly back down to our knees with Grace. Free.

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It’s happened more than once since we received our prenatal diagnosis. It’s been said by professing Christians and most recently by a US Elected Official.  {click here}  

“Down Syndrome/ Disability is a form of punishment for the Sins of the Parents or Mankind.”

When powerful people, respected people, and even loved family members mutter these words even the most grounded Christian can shutter. My mind raced the day I first heard this. My child a punishment? God does such a thing? and the Enemy who knows our playbook carefully and meticulously slips self doubt into your mind and you race through your mind with all your wrong doings in the past… you pull up memory after memory where you totally screwed up, sinned, shamed yourself, drank too much in college, gave way too much of yourself here in this and that way, took too much there, a little lie back then, slander here and there, oh dear…the list goes on.

Oh how the Devil loves to see you squirm… but then in a moment of clarity you glance back at your child and you remember God is True…
Just… and his PLAN is ever revealing, ever satisfying and may I say ever so Perfect.

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These words below have become the anthem that sings to my soul …as disability finds reason and purpose in this life. And Grady’s little light shines as bright today as it did the day he was born two years ago….

John 9: 1-4

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me.”

And so it was said, and so it will be. Set me spirit free with these words, Crushing words once spoken to me and societal confusion. I pray these words find those who have spoken such lies and bring them to their knees. {conviction}

I know for certain the work of God that has been displayed through Grady’s life in just a mere 2 years… his testament and smile and our testimony has reached beyond our beyond. All because God took extra time the day he was conceived to bring forth in him characteristics that Yes, make him stand apart. But we Praise him for every part of that Good work amd extra chromosome…because the Works of God are outwardly apparent for all to see, and the light within shines brighter than I ever could have imagened.

He is our blessing.

Now the scripture in the book of John reads on to see Jesus wipe mud across the blind man’s face as he heals him. The blind man then is able to see for the first time and become a living testimony to the Good works of the Lord.

The day of a complication free body will come in Heaven when Grady meets his heavenily father someday, where Down Syndrome won’t be gone but his body will be free of any impediments. There his Speech will allow him to sing a sweet song and he will sit at the feet of Jesus and in the clearest voice, giving Thanks and Praise. Melodic faithfulness.

Every morning both Paul and I at somepoint during the morning look at eachother with complete and utter awe of God and give Thanks for Grady. Not one day goes by without that reality, thankfulness and richness of Joy that he is in our life.

Happy 2nd Birthday Little Man.

Let your Light Shine on…


“There’s a little flame inside us all
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don’t you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don’t forget who’s child you are

This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I’m Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus’ face
So until then I’m gonna try
To brave the dark
And let my little light shine”

Addison Road (awesome song)

Flasback, Grady’s Announcement Video:

The Healing Home : Goodbye January

It’s not a home with magical healing powers, that would be silly to think. But it’s a home that holds my most cherished childhood memories. Memories that flood back at any given moment these days. As I stand in the basement with that familiar smell, uncovering my handprints in our cubby space that reveal themselves behind old wallpaper, my tiny footprints in the concrete next to our furnace. ..

or like today, watching Mason and Grady climb the same stone wall we helped build with my father when I was young. I will never forget those summer nights, the trips to get the rocks in the back of his jeep and how hard my dad worked on it after a long day at work.

While the rocks aren’t as perfectly placed as time has taken to them, they now make the perfect stepping stones for our Grady to crawl up.

Nostalgia is good, healing, overwhelming and peaceful.

Today is the last day in one of the worst months of my life.  In celebration of the last day, I thought I would post on what has been going on around here and in my dear mind. God help us all.

January 14th…After a well fought battle with Cancer, our Oma went to be with Jesus.  She was prayed up and loved beyond measure the day she left us and It was with the greatest heartache and thankfulness I got to see her that last day. My eternal perspective is intensified and I have been humbled before the Lord. She loved our kids, and her connection with Grady was flourishing.  She will be missed, oh so missed, she is missed.

My memories of her and my Opa  in this home are wonderful. I hold those close.

Oma & Opa in front of our new/old house early 90's.

Things will never be the same without our Oma that is for sure.

The moments of nostalgia and the peacefulness of being in this home have certainly helped carry me this past month along with my wonderful husband and boys.

January has been filled with more than a dozen nights tossing and turning at night in anger and frustration in plans changed, re-directed. Rising in the morning with guilt that I am not trusting HIS plan. His Perfect Plan. I have been feeling a sense of loss {of control}. While I am sure the pain of losing a loved one and seeing your family broken in so many ways just has added to this rather crummy month. I am going to see to it that February is better, dangit no matter what I will make sure of it.

So as I say Goodbye to this month, a month I will never forget… I will forge ahead into february with excitement as we look towards Grady’s Second Birthday, Fresh Starts, Less facebook, more blogging… and digging deeper in His Word.

All the while, thanking God for giving me the opportunity to heal my brokeness with many reminders of sweet memories in the House that Built Me. All the while sharing it with my two boys….

I am not sure how Mason did it, but he captured these photos today as we basked outside in 50 degree weather here in NY.  They are probably some of my favorite pictures…. as I am on my original childhood swings. I am still in awe the owner kept them all those years.

I am grateful they are still here, because today I was at peace swinging away with my little one.

Psalm 42: 1-2

“As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. “

Life is Hard.

Life. is. Hard.

I thought I would take a moment to bring you this profound thought to start my blogging year of 2012. I know this rudimentary idea seems obvious to many or maybe not. It has taken me about 27 or so years to actually come to terms with this. As the words slipped out of my mouth on the phone yesterday with a dear friend a light bulb went off.

The absence from my blog is a culmination of many things, events and thoughts and none of them have anything to do with Down Syndrome. Many life events I wish I could share but cannot. But what I have realized while I endure this  particular season of my life is that Life is Hard {yes I said it again}…BUT… Down Syndrome is Easy

 and God is Good.

No really, sometimes I wish people would just realize that my Grady’s diagnosis is one of the easiest and most beautiful aspects of this life.  I’m not painting an unrealistic picture or throwing fairy dust at your screen…What I am saying is that when Life gets tough,  I take one look into Grady’s eyes and he brings me back “home” again. His jovial laughter puts santa to shame.

God has shown me Easy, to help me through the Tough.. .

“Don’t let your eyes get used to darkness
The light is coming soon
Don’t let your heart get used to sadness
Put your hope in what is true

No matter how the wind may blow
It cannot shake the sun
Lay your sorrows on the ground
It’s time to come back home

When the future seems uncertain
Like the coming of a storm
Your loving Father carries his children
When they can’t walk anymore”
– JJ Heller

 

BIG WHITE TENT : Run…

{A Plea} 

**It’s taken me months to post this, but something keeps showing up everywhere around our house…it has been a simple little reminder to share this story, reflection and experience.

There we were at our local fair, I was guzzling my root beer float and kettle corn, debating wether to get those awesome feathers put into my hair while Mason was becoming enthralled by the enticing invitations from the carnival workers. Grady checked out all the animals with a mesmerized look, while Paul and his Gyro bonded. It was one of those all american days with my all american family. Somebody get me a picket fence and make it white, now… please?

We stumbled upon a big white tent with pictures of children with Down Syndrome plastered all over the inside. Of course we ventured inside to see what was going on, yes what was going on?….. We entered like we already had the Grand Prize…one of those proud mommy moments where I was like “Hey look what we have!”

Seemingly unaware, we had just stepped inside the tent of “Pro-Life”. Here we go folks, strap yourself into your chairs because I am about to be brutally honest for the Glory of God and him Alone.

Have you ever gone to a haunted house around halloween… did you like it? or did you run? I can honestly say my personal comparison between the big white tent at the local fair and my experiences at haunted houses somehow faired eerily similar. I don’t like Haunted houses, I run…I learned that at an early stage in life.  As my relationship in Christ continues to grow and flourish, and as I take time to listen to what he is telling me…he is surely revealing to my child like heart that it’s also ok to Run from the big White Tent.  He is leading me to not just Run but to Share.

As we pushed our stroller and kids inside, we started looking at the brochures and pretty quickly realized where we were. A gentlemen approached us and welcomed us.  I’m not sure how the conversation got there but we shared with him that Grady had Down Syndrome, and he started talking. He continued to tell us {with an obvious underlying discontent/hate} how the Planned Parenthood group was two tents down. Follwing that he gave me an incredibly horrible impersonation of his friend’s adult child with down sydrome. His jagged hand movements and voice change tried to mimmick an adult with a disability. It made me sick. Blech. I started to get a bitter taste in my mouth.

I thought to myself, hold it together Erin, show Grace. Jerimiah 29:11 popped in my head after the gentlemen said God has a plan. He was dumbfounded by this never before heard scripture but then quickly changed the subject back to his “Pro-Life” rant….While our conversation lingered on, I stayed like a bottlenecker on the highway…..his words became white noise and somewhat blurred.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mason “Fishing” with a little pole for something I couldn’t quite make out. I saw his big smile and let him continue. A few minutes later… I glanced over again at mason and this time saw him diving in the baby pool and pulling up about 20 baby fetuses. The look of horror in my eyes was unexplainable. ARE YOU SERIOUS?  Mason called out with the biggest clueless smile “Can I keep them mommy?”

{insert twighlight zone music}

The Spirit within me is haunted by the baby Fetus’s. One happened to make it home in Mason’s pocket. Ironically the name attached to him was “Christian”.  Irony.

Let me get to the real root of the issue…

Staunchly proclaiming you are Pro-Life, Pitching a big White Tent, plastering your car with bumper stickers won’t get your foot in the door in heaven, nor will it earn you a big pat on the back from the Big Guy upstairs. Quite possibly it may not even save a life. Nope.  I will tell you what it will do, it will exclude someone, it will push someone away, it will confuse someone and very possibly subliminally come off as passing judgment.  When your Strong position overpowers your ability to listen and love, you may have just lost a battle.  As the hands and feet of God you may have just lost the chance to do as Jesus did and extend the Love of Christ, unconditionally. Your bumper sticker isn’t going to save a life, it may get you a key scratch or at best yet a conversation/debate started where if your extremely lucky you may get a point across. But most of these battle lines are drawn in black, not grey.

The Love of Christ, his Word and his plan is as pure white as the whitest snow, it is the ONLY way to turn black battle lines into Grey… and hopefully eventually into the truth. flawless white.

{And the words of the LORD are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times. -Psalm 12:6}

It’s so important to stand for something…. and when you stand for Jesus everything else falls into place as it should. As Christians we must be aware/vigil to the fact that we don’t know everyone’s situation, where they have been, what is going on at home behind closed doors… so before you start damming people to hell or speaking louder than your ability to listen…. Why don’t you love on them, humble yourself,  show Grace and help shine the truth the way Jesus would…. A much better way to save a life or {two}.

I’ll scratch the Pro-Life title, and take Pro-Jesus because with that comes pro-life but also forgiveness and love.

I think I’ll avoid Big White Tents that allow fishing for plastic babies from now on.

We are left with our tiny plastic fetus/baby  “Christian” as our friendly reminder to Pray.

House Warming {Gift}

We spent our first night back in the new house.

This morning we woke up to our first snowfall here. It took my breathe away.

If I am am being honest with you the last two months of my life have been incredibly challenging. I have been distant from my friends, busy, scrambled and my heart has been in a state of unrest while my mind was spinning.

I don’t believe material things bring value to life, but a place to call home brings peace. No doubt. And a home that holds every sweet childhood memory of mine well that is just beautiful.

These images show my heart at rest.

 

I snuck outside with my camera and boots to take a stroll down to the lake before breakfast… I built my {header} above.  Captured the a few shots of the beginning of winter and well took a deep breath.  Thanked God. Prayed. Thanked God. Prayed some More.

“….But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” {Joshua 24:15}

Oh yes…my childhood swings covered with snow, you can see where they were painted red from when I was young and repainted blue by the last owner. This spring I will stencil Grady and Mason’s name on them as me and my sister’s name was stenciled on many years ago.

Back Inside… I grabbed just a few shots of Grady…. Mason was somewhere exploring in the back of the house!  They are both adjusting well…. :)

Thinking of the perfect house warming gift?

Sweet Simon is waiting for his Christmas Warrior Fund to be filled. Help us reach our goal of $1,000 by christmas.  So far $290 has been raised for him towards his Christmas goal. It would be the perfect house warming gift for us. Because in all honesty he is the only thing missing in this house…so it would warm our hearts to help his fund!

DONATE HERE

{more pics and updates tomorrow}

Developmentally speaking : CHOP & Aqua Therapy

There I was at the edge of my seat.

This is exactly what I thought it would feel like to be at my kids first soccer game, anxious, nervous, eager… leaning side to side as if I was encouraging his own movement. I held my breathe a few times watching his little fingers pick up the smallest block and place it in a jar.

SCORE.

Ok, Grady didn’t join the local soccer program, not yet at least…But after a very long waiting list we finally got into CHOP’s Down Syndrome Clinic for an overall evaluation. We made the few hour drive because I have really wanted to see how Grady is doing, what we could be doing better and to be a part of the program as he grows older.

He was evaluated by an OT, ST, and PT and also saw the head Ped Dr. of the program.  I watched his tiny face squinch up and concentrate while they were giving him tasks to do. My face squinched up with him.

And even when he sometimes failed to do what they asked of him, or when he didn’t show skills perhaps he should already have…he would look up through all his frustration and gave that look of pure contentment. That is where I was able to sit back and do my own little evaluation.

Overall…we gained some great insight into Grady’s development and so glad we went.

Physically they were pretty happy… they recommended “Sure Steps” to support his ankles and feet while standing.  A few suggestions was letting him crawl over couch cushions or in my case mounds of clean {dirty} laundry to challenge him a bit. Also to purchase a shopping cart, fill it with heavy objects and let him try to push it around.

Concerns: Grady isn’t really “talking” much nor is he babbling or carrying on like he should. This could be early signs of speech apraxia. But we are far from making that diagnosis. In the mean time we are going to start signing more {buy signing time videos},  we are going to be making a familiar household objects, toys and people book…. they encouraged us to purchase an iPad as it has some great apps for children with special needs to encourage back and forth play as well as the book “It takes two to talk” by Elaine Weitzman.

{they also recommend organized and clean playing spaces, I promise to address this as soon as we aren’t living out of boxes between houses, till then….}

This week we started Aqua Therapy for Grady. He will get this service through Orange County Early Intervention once a week in addition to his 3 PT, 3 ST and 2 OT and 2 Special education therapy sessions a week.

WE ARE SOOOOOO GRATEFUL for NY State Early Intervention. The CHOP Down Syndrome program was so impressed with the help/assistance we are getting… it made me so proud to be a NY’er and feel so supported. They were floored that we would be getting aqua therapy and also that Grady was getting fitted for a TRIP TRAP Chair {this will help support him while eating and playing in therapy}

Here are some highlights from his first Aqua therapy session:

Updates:

1.) I’m glad to be back blogging!

2.) TODAY we received the Air Quality Test back and found out that our new HOUSE IS CURED! The renovations and remediation worked and we are clear to move back home. We are waiting for paint and floors to be put in and we are moving back home in two weeks! PICTURES SOON! {promise}

3.) and btw did you read THIS?

Going to leave you with this till the next post: Sums it all up:

You Stir Me Child.

Sometimes I find it hard to come up with the words….

I am a talker with a communications degree to prove it… I am a writer with a blog to prove it and I am an artist with photographs upon photographs to prove it…

but you Child Stir me into silence & prayer. Within that silence I am stirring for ways to make your life better, to help you, to save you…

I want to find the perfect words to help write your story… I want them to reach people, I want them to be stirred deep inside like you stir me. I can’t stand to think I post your photo and story online and it be ignored or looked over.

Is it your motherless situation that stirs me? or your photo on the internet? or is it God within me…. I have prayed over those questions to know this…

You Child are NOT forgotten….  It must be God who did this within me, because it wasn’t my plan to wake up every morning and check your page… It wasn’t my plan to have my eyes opened to the Orphan crisis…. as God’s hands and feet he directs my path.

As days go on…that path keeps pointing to you.

You stir me so much that I hold back tears right now typing this very post.

You are alone. You are most likely in a crib alone right now alone. You don’t know what the love of a mother is. You are an Orphan. You don’t know what it’s like to have a mommy hold you, sing to you, rub lotion over your little legs and play peek-a-boo. You don’t have a daddy to cuddle you to sleep. You STIR me… into prayer.

Don’t look away from me, they are screaming…Don’t look away.

Today you Stir me into writing again… because WE love you…  We are also your Christmas Warriors for Reece’s Rainbow. This means we are raising funds towards your adoption this Christmas Season. Our goal is $1000 before Christmas Day, but we believe more than that will come to you by then… with the help of God’s Hands and Feet.

Would you consider sponsoring Simon with a donation… pray for him, let God stir within you to help this little one out… ?

{Simon was born just a day before our Grady, he has down syndrome and he is an orphan in Russia… }

DONATE HERE

Read more about Angel Tree Donations and how you can get a Ornament with Simon’s Photo on it HERE !!

Reflecting on A passage from Deuteronomy where it is told that God Hovers over us and {Simon} like an Eagle over his nest…. While this comforts me knowing Simon’s Father in Heaven is watching out for him… He needs us, he needs us NOW.  I feel like Mamma Eagle here… trying to catch Simon before he falls into the abyss of the Oprhan world forever…. are you with me?

“He found him in a desert land,
and in the howling waste of the wilderness;
he encircled him, he cared for him,
he kept him as the apple of his eye.
Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
that flutters over its young,
spreading out its wings, catching them,
bearing them on its pinions,
the LORD alone guided him,
no foreign god was with him.” Deuteronomy 32:10-12

It would make Grady super happy if you helped his Buddy out this christmas!

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see

“Give me your eyes” – Brandon Heath