The dynamics of a changing “home”


Ever since Grady started pre-school full time at age three this past september, the feeling of home has been different.

He gets up at 6:30am, gets his synthroid pill, eats breakfast, we get him dressed and he is on the bus by 7:20. When he arrives home at 2:30, I typically get him off the bus sleeping, like out cold sleeping, drooling all over me until I carry him into the house where he then falls asleep on the couch for another hour or two. It’s the typical routine.

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Yes the free time away from in-home therapies has had its perks…with both boys being in school full time my schedule has opened up, but that time has also made a way to find a disconnect in our communication with Grady. Since he started school in september, he has not picked up one new word or new sign. He gets home tired, sleeps for a few hours, eats dinner, tub time and then bed.  And then we do it again the next day.  We are finding what we are doing isn’t working, and we are feeling desperate to figure it out. Is it worth it to send him to school?  Are we doing something wrong?  Do we need to find a new school? Do we need to go private? The questions go on and on…

“Home” has changed with this new dynamic, we have less play time/ communicating time and more hurry up and go time.

Home is also one of the only safe places anymore to bring Grady. We have found with age, and possibly new found independence since going to school… he has achieved full blow runner status…. without a fence outside, it’s high alert to be outdoors with him.  Playgrounds need gates, and if I have June with me, I need help.  Going to birthday parties, and other events over the past year seem impossible…He’s a flight risk, and I pray that this gets better and if it doesn’t then I find balance and boundaries that are manageable.

Home remains to be where we know he can giggle, splash, play and be SAFE. Even if its for  a few short hours a day while he is awake. Home is the place where we as a family have to dig deep to find out what works for Grady and us.  Home seems to be the one true place where we feel peace.  safety. and love.

We are navigating this world and hanging on to all that is “home”.

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5 thoughts on “The dynamics of a changing “home”

  1. ThoseNewmans says:

    Gosh I worry about this for Eli. While we aren’t there yet, I am sure every parent struggles with this transition and how best to handle it.
    If only we had all the answers, money and free time it would be so much easier. Praying you guys find a solution (and pass on the magical answer to us!) hehe 🙂

    • Erin Ski! says:

      Thanks Ashley! We appreciate those prayers, my return to blogging comes super honesty… its a struggle, but I KNOW we are going to find an answer. What I have come to realize over these past few weeks, is that its absolutely impossible to fit Grady or any of our kids into a cookie cutter scenario at a special needs pre school. Grady really needs an individual plan with a team that believes in him as much as we do. … and yes money would help. lol !:) hugs to you mamma of three!

      • ThoseNewmans says:

        I’m just glad you returned 😉
        And I have lots of time to read with late night nursing lol

        It’s so hard coming from the educator stand point. We want all of our students to get what they need- but the system is cookie cutter. I feel even more jaded going into this process.
        We have our 2 year IFSP fast approaching and I don’t even know where to begin with everything I think is wrong for what they have planned for Eli.

  2. Tabitha says:

    Hi Erin, You are not alone. Cooper is a full blown runner and it has actually made leaving my house a nightmare!!! He will run away in parking lots, malls birthday parties! And problem is he is getting faster and more difficult to restrain from just carrying him. Trying to work on discipline and failing!!!!at Least he is running away from me with a smile:). And now he has made our safe home easy to escape. He has figured out a way to slide a chair to our front door and unlock the deadbolt that is up high. I am with you!!!! I am easing a sweet and cute Dennis the mennace!

  3. Momof5 says:

    Hi, visiting first time and really like your writing! I am in the waiting to find out for DS after baby has 5 markers. I was searching for the positives and love how you are real yet encouraging. Both of my parents were born with disabilities but never let it limit them and I’m a much richer person for having them as parents. Not until I was older did I realize the harsh criticism my mom received for having children (was told she was irresponsible and wouldnt be able to care for a baby). So being on the other side I know what joy and sadness I may experience.
    I currently homeschool, one with mild needs and we are able to get twice weekly individual service at our public school. The bonus is they really work with scheduling and give me resources for at home also. I still struggle with if I’m able to give the best and if I’m doing the right thing. I taught in a local public school for years and felt she would be lost in the group. That was my first worry with this baby is can I homeschool sucessfully a child with DS. I hope you are able to find a school solution that brings you peace! And many blessing to your sweet family!

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