The Healing Home : Goodbye January

It’s not a home with magical healing powers, that would be silly to think. But it’s a home that holds my most cherished childhood memories. Memories that flood back at any given moment these days. As I stand in the basement with that familiar smell, uncovering my handprints in our cubby space that reveal themselves behind old wallpaper, my tiny footprints in the concrete next to our furnace. ..

or like today, watching Mason and Grady climb the same stone wall we helped build with my father when I was young. I will never forget those summer nights, the trips to get the rocks in the back of his jeep and how hard my dad worked on it after a long day at work.

While the rocks aren’t as perfectly placed as time has taken to them, they now make the perfect stepping stones for our Grady to crawl up.

Nostalgia is good, healing, overwhelming and peaceful.

Today is the last day in one of the worst months of my life.  In celebration of the last day, I thought I would post on what has been going on around here and in my dear mind. God help us all.

January 14th…After a well fought battle with Cancer, our Oma went to be with Jesus.  She was prayed up and loved beyond measure the day she left us and It was with the greatest heartache and thankfulness I got to see her that last day. My eternal perspective is intensified and I have been humbled before the Lord. She loved our kids, and her connection with Grady was flourishing.  She will be missed, oh so missed, she is missed.

My memories of her and my Opa  in this home are wonderful. I hold those close.

Oma & Opa in front of our new/old house early 90's.

Things will never be the same without our Oma that is for sure.

The moments of nostalgia and the peacefulness of being in this home have certainly helped carry me this past month along with my wonderful husband and boys.

January has been filled with more than a dozen nights tossing and turning at night in anger and frustration in plans changed, re-directed. Rising in the morning with guilt that I am not trusting HIS plan. His Perfect Plan. I have been feeling a sense of loss {of control}. While I am sure the pain of losing a loved one and seeing your family broken in so many ways just has added to this rather crummy month. I am going to see to it that February is better, dangit no matter what I will make sure of it.

So as I say Goodbye to this month, a month I will never forget… I will forge ahead into february with excitement as we look towards Grady’s Second Birthday, Fresh Starts, Less facebook, more blogging… and digging deeper in His Word.

All the while, thanking God for giving me the opportunity to heal my brokeness with many reminders of sweet memories in the House that Built Me. All the while sharing it with my two boys….

I am not sure how Mason did it, but he captured these photos today as we basked outside in 50 degree weather here in NY.  They are probably some of my favorite pictures…. as I am on my original childhood swings. I am still in awe the owner kept them all those years.

I am grateful they are still here, because today I was at peace swinging away with my little one.

Psalm 42: 1-2

“As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. “


3 thoughts on “The Healing Home : Goodbye January

  1. pennyspeeps says:

    oh erin, i am so sorry for your loss. i had no idea that you were in this season of grief and mourning. may HE continue to be your comfort and peace in the days ahead. i’m thankful you have the joy of knowing you will see you Oma again, ” what a day of rejoicing that will be….” hugs and prayers sweet sister in Christ….. i love you!

  2. Anna Theurer says:

    Oh Erin, I am so sorry for your loss, I know that while we rejoice in her being with the Lord, it is still hard for those of us left on this Earth. I have been wondering where you have been in bloggerland and welcome back. Tell Mason that he did a fabulous job taking those photos. He is a natural!

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