Ever since Grady started pre-school full time at age three this past september, the feeling of home has been different.
He gets up at 6:30am, gets his synthroid pill, eats breakfast, we get him dressed and he is on the bus by 7:20. When he arrives home at 2:30, I typically get him off the bus sleeping, like out cold sleeping, drooling all over me until I carry him into the house where he then falls asleep on the couch for another hour or two. It’s the typical routine.
Yes the free time away from in-home therapies has had its perks…with both boys being in school full time my schedule has opened up, but that time has also made a way to find a disconnect in our communication with Grady. Since he started school in september, he has not picked up one new word or new sign. He gets home tired, sleeps for a few hours, eats dinner, tub time and then bed. And then we do it again the next day. We are finding what we are doing isn’t working, and we are feeling desperate to figure it out. Is it worth it to send him to school? Are we doing something wrong? Do we need to find a new school? Do we need to go private? The questions go on and on…
“Home” has changed with this new dynamic, we have less play time/ communicating time and more hurry up and go time.
Home is also one of the only safe places anymore to bring Grady. We have found with age, and possibly new found independence since going to school… he has achieved full blow runner status…. without a fence outside, it’s high alert to be outdoors with him. Playgrounds need gates, and if I have June with me, I need help. Going to birthday parties, and other events over the past year seem impossible…He’s a flight risk, and I pray that this gets better and if it doesn’t then I find balance and boundaries that are manageable.
Home remains to be where we know he can giggle, splash, play and be SAFE. Even if its for a few short hours a day while he is awake. Home is the place where we as a family have to dig deep to find out what works for Grady and us. Home seems to be the one true place where we feel peace. safety. and love.
We are navigating this world and hanging on to all that is “home”.