Measure of a Mom….

It has taken just about 3 and half years as a mother to wrap my mind around this concept. Possibly and most likely common sense to many, but for those with a natural bent towards comparison or mom guilt like me well this post is for you.

You see somewhere around the time that I began to surround myself with other mom’s this feeling of “I just don’t measure up” started creeping on in. Or maybe it was at the park a few years ago after having a random conversation with a super mom, you know lunches perfectly packed, kids perfectly dressed, her hair perfectly placed, nails bursting with the correct seasonal color and children hitting milestones at just the right time ( I saw her chart). Or my run in at A.C Moore with the crafty mom, who never misses a beat with mid-day creative time with her kids. Wait let’s not forget the mother who’s house passes the dust inspection early Monday morning after a busy weekend. Sigh.

“I just Don’t measure up”

Ok, then I enter the whole Christian Mom scene where “grey areas” pop up in conversation all the time, you know the seemingly spotless family who finds TV taboo along with silly bands and anything commercialized. Her children are so well behaved, I have to wonder if the wooden spoon is peaking out from under her skirt just so her children stay in line. My honest favorite mom is the poised mom (most everything I am not…but would like to be), she is your modern day Proverbs 31 woman, gentle, self contained, graceful and rises before her kids. Yes she is out there and I have met her, a few times.

“I just don’t measure up”

You see all of those attributes are uniquely rewarding, accomplished, and straight up awesome. Please don’t get me wrong and laugh off my slight sarcasm, each one of those women exemplified wonderful mom’s but from time to time I can find myself tangled in their talents and forget about my own as a mother. Putting them on some sort of a pedestal as if they are super human. All the while forgetting at the end of the day we are not perfect. No one is. But Jesus.

After two years of being a mom I then became a mom to a child with special needs…. then “measuring” up took a whole new meaning. You see now, I drift in and out of my bent towards the well nail polished mom envy and venture onto the Special Needs Super Mom.  I am talking about the mom who can juggle all the therapy and doctor appointments, medicine, weird looks and staring strangers ect.. and not once complain, not even to her best friend.

” I just don’t measure up”……..

I guess where I am going with this is God gave us all talents as a mother, not everyone the same, uniquely designed to be different. Embrace it. Rid the Guilt, and throw a party if your house is messy but your kids are loved beyond words. Or if your house is clean and your children are loved, skip the party and help me with my mess please? I will then share my talents with you 🙂 We are in this together as Mom’s to encourage, love and use our talents for the Good of the Lord , our Children and Each other.  {Romans 12: 6-8}

Understanding motherhood really is pretty simple. God blesses us with children. We are to share the love of Jesus with them. We are to embrace him as our Lord and Savior and work on the sanctification of ourselves. We are to read the Word of God and live our lives accordingly. We are to raise our children up as God Commands {Proverbs 22:6} and be their example. We are to Trust. Have Faith. and LOVE. {Oh and have our hearts go walking outside our body}

I don’t think it’s an excuse to find peace in acceptance on how God made us or realizing our weaknesses. I think as a mom I always want to better myself and many times look at other mom’s with great admiration and inspiration. Somedays, I just struggle to make it through alive or awake. Depends.

You see…

I am the daughter or Christ.

I am a Wife.

I am a Mother.

I love my children.

I talk to them about Jesus.

I feed my children.

I Change Diapers.

I kiss them and hug them a lot.

I most likely photograph them.

Somedays I can fit nothing else on that list when we all know much more comes to being a mom, Somedays my pursuit of the Proverbs 31 woman falls short before the day starts when my 3 year old pulls the cover’s off to get me out of bed.

I realize I just don’t measure up to Other mom’s, and that is Ok by me, because all that really matters is that I measure up to the one who holds the true Ruler.

The Ruler. Our God.

Not if, but when I fail…. I am thankful to have a Forgiving God to help me back up again.

That is the measure of a mom.


9 thoughts on “Measure of a Mom….

  1. Pat Kobylensky says:

    Erin, you are wise beyond your years. It takes most of us about 30 years of parenting to figure this out! You are awesome — God made you that way!
    Loving you lots, Pat

  2. Kristin Montgomery says:

    I love this post Erin, so well written and honest. I think you are one of if not the best mom I have met. The love you have for your family and God shines right through you. It has been a wonderful experience getting to know you. I think that you are such a strong positive influence for other mothers who have a child with special needs, and I am so glad I have you as a friend. This is my favorite post yet!

  3. P says:

    LOL: Or if your house is clean and your children are loved, skip the party and help me with my mess please?

    Invite those kids over to play and be MESSY!!!!!!!! Thanks, I love this post and need to hang it in my husbands office.

  4. Erin says:

    Beautiful post Erin! I don’t think you need to compare yourself to other moms or “super moms” you are a wonderful mom. I know this because of the way you write about your children and it’s obvious how happy they are, as you document that in every photograph. But I have to admit I do it too and have mom guilt like any other. What I am and what I strive to be are miles apart but I hope to get there some day.

  5. Andi says:

    Having a child (or two, like me) with a disability is a near-perfect illustration for accepting yourself just the way God made you. That’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned as a mom.

  6. jodi says:

    I am smiling reading this entire blog for so so sooooo many reasons…first because I was at Grace bible church this Sunday with my friend Keith ( only took 10 years for him to get me there) so I learned all about the ideal Godly women in proverbs 31.. I have to admit I was feeling a bit short myself. But with the elbow support on my arm, the pretty dress I was wearing, and the fact that I was actually sitting at Grace made me smile to myself and hold my head up high… LOL the second reason is when I met you I had that ugh will I ever measure up to this beautiful woman? So perfectly happy in her marriage… this woman who can have so much on her plate and still have time to blog and take the most beautiful pics of her family (mind you the last pic I took of my family was months before)…… I said to myself ….well Jodi you have only one option…… fake it…. so we ventured out to the bronx zoo and what I found out that day is you weren’t perfect… also have dishes in your sink.. you also have a basket somewhere (in my case its a chair in my room) piled high with clothes and a sock or two without a match, you also have struggles in your marriage, you also run late…On that day I was so overjoyed with happiness… I realized that ‘no one’ is perfect…. and I made a ‘true friend’ for life…….

  7. aprilnarretto says:

    great post, it is so easy to look at other moms and think “I need to get it together just a little more in ______area”. We need to remember to keep our eye facing God to show us the way.

  8. Anna Theurer says:

    Erin, great post! Very inspirational. I too at times find myself saying “I just don’t measure up” because it is SO hard to not compare, but we never know what is going on in the seemingly “perfect” mom’s life. I am trying to be the best mother that I can be, using all of the fits God has blessed me with. I love: “Or if your house is clean and your children are loved, skip the party and help me with my mess please?” Yep, send that person my way after they help you 😛

  9. Megan Gentile says:

    This post moved me to tears! I can relate to how your feeling in so many ways! I always feel I “don’t measure up” and that if my hair/nails/house isn’t perfect then I am doing doing something wrong. Thank you for showing the true meaning of motherhood, through God, scriptures, and love. I am so inspired by you and thankful to have such an amazing friend who I certainly put on the motherhood pedestal! I love you girl! xoxo

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